QUESTiON OF THE DAY: When Are You Gonna Grow Up?!

In my eighteen years of life and CosmoGirl subscriptions, I have learned a thing or two about how to interact with the opposite sex. Things like "look into his eyes," "smile excessively," and "lean in and keep your voice level with his.. or lower" (LOL Tiff), and most importantly, never ever ever talk about your period. What?? I'm sorry, this may have been a rule in middle school, as the boys were still playing with Yu Gi Yo cards (I refuse to spell check that, so if I'm wrong, I'm wrong!) But I'm a college girl now, baby. I'm gonna need you not to whine "Ewwww" when I say, in my offhanded way, "I think my period's coming." All together, now. "Ewwwwww!" or "I'm eating!" Boy, I didn't say I had chlamydia! I didn't say that my genital warts were flaring up! There was nothing unnatural about my statement. Why do you feel queasy?? You don't have to deal with the killer cramps that keep you in bed two days in a row! Why are you losing your appetite? You are not the one who has to change tampon after tampon while simultaneously trying not to toss your cookies all over the bathroom floor! And if you plan to spend the rest of your days as a heterosexual male, I'm gonna need you to get acquainted to the fact that most people with a vagina have menstrual cycles... and if they didn't, then you would have something to worry about! I'm just tryna school you to the game. Cuz several years from now, when I am writhing in pain in the bed and my husband asks me what's wrong and I tell him "I think my period is coming," I may have to knock the DOG sh*t outta that man if he says "Ewwwww!" I dare you, I double dare you to even flinch, bruh. You will be a dundatta*