For Your Entertainment*

"Hey sexy, do you remember me?"
"I was drunk!"
-Taisha giving a Strip whore the guns

"You look... not... straight."

"I think she's lying about having a boyfriend." "I think... she's lying about being a woman."

"F*ck you, Daddy! I'm goin to see Aunti Tai Tai!"

"Softball is not a real sport. It's a variation of a sport. That's like saying "My favorite sport is basketball in a wheelchair.'"

"I don't mix sh*t. I only mix liq with more liq. I'm not tryna have a drink, I'm tryna get f*cked up."

"Hell yea, I got a boyfriend! I just got 'im today!"

"Damn, you can ask before you put your foot in the same shoe my foot is in!"

"Wait. I saw the new Gucci sneakers I need in my life. They white. And green. With red shoestrings."

"I'm about to be blasted son! Blasted son!" "son. are you telling me because you know I wouldn't believe you otherwise?"

"As soon as he opens his mouth, it's just heaven."

"Don't try to be like "Five missed calls, I'm so popular!' No one likes you."

"Call on God! you'll never get a busy signal."

And on Popeye's Pay Day, there were a whole slew of quotes that deserve their own section:

"Niggas loaf a lot." "Not on chicken!"

"C'mon son, sell me a piece of chicken for a buck!"

"I don't want the leg unless you tell me I could have a leg cuz you like legs."

"Son that's tight! You swindled but I feel like I swindled. That's a super swindle! So you know what that means... Popeye's got swindled!"