jawnny says...

so last night me & jawnny had a lil friendtime (over the phone, of course, as she refuses to step foot in my new home for reasons unbeknownst to moi *insert eye roll*) i had sent her this article from the fashion bomb (heyyy claire!) & we cackled&clowned for hours. which led into jawnny mourning over old nicki's disappearance & new nicki's ice- cream swirl wigs. icreeped her out by talking about all of new nicki's alter egos, & she immediately stopped me.

"bro chill. i'm in the kitchen alone & it's dark. iwould sh.t myself if i turned around & saw nicki minaj."

ps. im gonna wash her mouth out with soap, i promise. we gotta work on making these posts more "family- friendly"*

#amberalert

im on the prowl for these thangs right here. im half- embarassed because i've been trying to shed this covetous spirit (God no likey) but i feel like.. Father forgive me... iNEED these in my life! ican see us together in a plethora of delicious outfits this summer. i usually dont even get into Jessica Simpsons-- something about musicians becoming designers cheapens the product for me-- but iwill humble myself for these Dany platforms. iknow they come in an array of hues, but i only want the tan. & of course. there are no size 6s anywhere on the face of the web to be found. :-(

HELPME.*

jawnny says... the entertainment edition.

if you know me or if you know my blog. you know that ihave a bunch of people surrounding me. who say the most off the wall things-- generally without warning. i used to give sections to the most off the wall characters in my life, but they never really lasted. kory left me. cyro left me. i left daddy. sooo i have decided to title this section "jawnny says" because SHE will never leave me. & she's effing ridiculous smh.

Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

K- will's mother is so cute.
J- yea. i jus wish she woulda raised her son.

Mary Poppins.

"i've never seen mary poppins. i know it's about some nanny bitch wit a umbrella, right?"

strangely enough. i've never heard a more succinct summation of mary poppins.*

CoverGirl lip perfection-- a review.

whew chile! *wipes forehead* during a recent trip to my local CVS (i find myself at those double doors at least thrice a week, even when i don't need anything), i stumbled across CoverGirl's new "Lip Perfection" line. i'd seen the lil commercials with drew barrymore & all the colorful lusciousness, but there is nothing like therealthing. even in my non- ambitious funk, i could not stop myself from picking up a couple tubes. they were a total mood- booster, btw. there's something about new, shiny things that just makes me feel all mushy inside. *smiles*

anywaydoe. i picked up a new yellow- based red lip "hot passion" (sounds a lil raunchy, i know) and the prettiest little purp thang, named "divine divine." 'tis quite divine. the application is smooth, the formula is nice&creamy, and the color selection is to die for (try not to make the mistake that i did at first, visiting a CVS in southside jamaica. they had been cleaned alllll the way out smh.) my only beef-- and it might not even be that big of an issue to some people-- is that once you put that color on, it is going NOWHERE fast. i scrubbed my lips with everything short of a brillo pad, and was still left with a purple tint for the rest of the day. all in all. once they restock that display? i'm goin ALL the way off!

yall kill me.

"his mother's shoulders.... are soooo tall. she can hear her shoulders."

(rapping) "fat nigga dawg, aint eat nothin healthy. fat nigga dawg eat possicles an sum jellay bean."

"...i even tried on large romper and it didnt fit. i looked like a large idiot!"

"he's a feen. i know it. i always see him doin some feen sh.t. last time i seen him he had no shirt on... spongeb0b pajama pants... & he was ridin a bicycle."

can you draw a tramp stamp on me that says "Get like me, bitches" ?

Bronze Glamazon Of The YEAR.*

sonj. she's a Bronze goddess, bossy businesswoman, & the best mommy inthewholeworld. i wanna be just like her when i grow up. i only wanna to raise my kids half as well as she raised me & jaseface. she's the bombdotcom.

&nowshe'sgone.

R.i.P. sonj

iloveyou.*

thefunnies.

V- sharrice, where's my lighter?!

S- i dunno.

V- look for it!

S- i did i aint find it so i stopped lookin!

V- that's real. that's the realest sh.t i heard all day.

"something's fishy. smells like Legal Seafoods."

"have you been to Macy's lately?? INC got some sequins for dat AZZ!!!"

"i don't like headphones. that's why i don't have an iPod. "

"that bothers me. y'know what i mean?? like, my hair's not always done, but it always looks presentable to go out. wait, what am i talking about??? my hair's ALWAYS done! "

Are You TRYiNG to Kill Me??*

"They're both gay but I don't think that they're gay together. You know how I'm heterosexual. And you're heterosexual. But we're not heterosexual together. Cuz that would be gay."

C- Do you wanna drop ya numba off with me?

D- No. It's mine.

"Didn't I ask for ice?? I never had dry juice before."

"I can't win/I do sin cuz you know I am a hu-man!"

"He bout your height. No offense. But you know that's short for a nigga. You a giant for a woman."

K-You're an asshole.

P- I know. But you only live once.

"My mom can't cook but she can order the SH.T out a menu."

"... Is he even rhyming.. or is he just expressing his feelings on the beat?"

"UGH, they jus so sappy! 'Oh! This bish is my sunshine, this nigga's my moooon! I dun need NO stars when he around!"'

"If he had a tooth, I would talk to him."

"..and I was like 'Who want it right here?!" And I took my shirt off... I be likin to get naked when I fight."

"Don't call me a creep, we're friends, it's not creepy when we're friends."

"My name is Taisha/ I'm not a geisha, I'm not from Asia!"

B- I can't WAiT to get home! I'm a tell Mommy to have awhole pan of chicken waitin for me!
S- I'm a tell my mom to have the Jamaican food on deck, y'kno.

M- Yea, I'ma tell my mom... order somethin.

*

cYrO Says..

"Man I wish I had bread. If I had bread, I'd be a stupid sneakerhead. My sneaker game be stupid icy. BUT-- I don't have bread." *