jawnny says... the entertainment edition.

if you know me or if you know my blog. you know that ihave a bunch of people surrounding me. who say the most off the wall things-- generally without warning. i used to give sections to the most off the wall characters in my life, but they never really lasted. kory left me. cyro left me. i left daddy. sooo i have decided to title this section "jawnny says" because SHE will never leave me. & she's effing ridiculous smh.

Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

K- will's mother is so cute.
J- yea. i jus wish she woulda raised her son.

Mary Poppins.

"i've never seen mary poppins. i know it's about some nanny bitch wit a umbrella, right?"

strangely enough. i've never heard a more succinct summation of mary poppins.*

CoverGirl lip perfection-- a review.

whew chile! *wipes forehead* during a recent trip to my local CVS (i find myself at those double doors at least thrice a week, even when i don't need anything), i stumbled across CoverGirl's new "Lip Perfection" line. i'd seen the lil commercials with drew barrymore & all the colorful lusciousness, but there is nothing like therealthing. even in my non- ambitious funk, i could not stop myself from picking up a couple tubes. they were a total mood- booster, btw. there's something about new, shiny things that just makes me feel all mushy inside. *smiles*

anywaydoe. i picked up a new yellow- based red lip "hot passion" (sounds a lil raunchy, i know) and the prettiest little purp thang, named "divine divine." 'tis quite divine. the application is smooth, the formula is nice&creamy, and the color selection is to die for (try not to make the mistake that i did at first, visiting a CVS in southside jamaica. they had been cleaned alllll the way out smh.) my only beef-- and it might not even be that big of an issue to some people-- is that once you put that color on, it is going NOWHERE fast. i scrubbed my lips with everything short of a brillo pad, and was still left with a purple tint for the rest of the day. all in all. once they restock that display? i'm goin ALL the way off!

yall kill me.

"his mother's shoulders.... are soooo tall. she can hear her shoulders."

(rapping) "fat nigga dawg, aint eat nothin healthy. fat nigga dawg eat possicles an sum jellay bean."

"...i even tried on large romper and it didnt fit. i looked like a large idiot!"

"he's a feen. i know it. i always see him doin some feen sh.t. last time i seen him he had no shirt on... spongeb0b pajama pants... & he was ridin a bicycle."

can you draw a tramp stamp on me that says "Get like me, bitches" ?

Bronze Glamazon Of The YEAR.*

sonj. she's a Bronze goddess, bossy businesswoman, & the best mommy inthewholeworld. i wanna be just like her when i grow up. i only wanna to raise my kids half as well as she raised me & jaseface. she's the bombdotcom.

&nowshe'sgone.

R.i.P. sonj

iloveyou.*

thefunnies.

V- sharrice, where's my lighter?!

S- i dunno.

V- look for it!

S- i did i aint find it so i stopped lookin!

V- that's real. that's the realest sh.t i heard all day.

"something's fishy. smells like Legal Seafoods."

"have you been to Macy's lately?? INC got some sequins for dat AZZ!!!"

"i don't like headphones. that's why i don't have an iPod. "

"that bothers me. y'know what i mean?? like, my hair's not always done, but it always looks presentable to go out. wait, what am i talking about??? my hair's ALWAYS done! "

Are You TRYiNG to Kill Me??*

"They're both gay but I don't think that they're gay together. You know how I'm heterosexual. And you're heterosexual. But we're not heterosexual together. Cuz that would be gay."

C- Do you wanna drop ya numba off with me?

D- No. It's mine.

"Didn't I ask for ice?? I never had dry juice before."

"I can't win/I do sin cuz you know I am a hu-man!"

"He bout your height. No offense. But you know that's short for a nigga. You a giant for a woman."

K-You're an asshole.

P- I know. But you only live once.

"My mom can't cook but she can order the SH.T out a menu."

"... Is he even rhyming.. or is he just expressing his feelings on the beat?"

"UGH, they jus so sappy! 'Oh! This bish is my sunshine, this nigga's my moooon! I dun need NO stars when he around!"'

"If he had a tooth, I would talk to him."

"..and I was like 'Who want it right here?!" And I took my shirt off... I be likin to get naked when I fight."

"Don't call me a creep, we're friends, it's not creepy when we're friends."

"My name is Taisha/ I'm not a geisha, I'm not from Asia!"

B- I can't WAiT to get home! I'm a tell Mommy to have awhole pan of chicken waitin for me!
S- I'm a tell my mom to have the Jamaican food on deck, y'kno.

M- Yea, I'ma tell my mom... order somethin.

*

cYrO Says..

"Man I wish I had bread. If I had bread, I'd be a stupid sneakerhead. My sneaker game be stupid icy. BUT-- I don't have bread." *

Sonnayyyy!*

"Muff in the gym... just seems like... a lie."

"Bro the dude at BCBG blew my spot uppp like 'I remember you, you came in here with your boyfriend to buy those shoes!" I wanted to pull him to the side like "Listen. You may see me in here with a barrage of niggas.'"

"He got so high he started crying. He couldn't hold his feelings in."

"All these random days of working out aint gon do sh.t! We gotta be consistent!"

"The only way we're winning is if we play perfect and they play terrible. We need both to happen at the same time."

KB-Everybody on the dance team doesn't like her.

K-Everybody in Haraya doesn't like her.

KB- Everybody in the world doesn't like her.

"She pees like a 7- year old boy-- such vigor!"

"Day 26 is now Day 25"

"I was sitting in his room and he was eating a muffin and he got a little bit of muffin in my hair and he said, "Wait a minute. You got a lil muffin in your hair.'"

M-Maybe if I think real hard, he'll text me!

S-Wait. Did she just try to use telekinesis to get somebody to text her??

"Somebody keeps asking me Tanya questions on formspring. I'm starting to think it's Tanya."

S-Them beans gon set your asshole on fire.

D-Nuh- uh! Food doesn't make me poop.

A-Would you tell your girlfriend if somebody sucked your dick while you were unconscious?

M- Somebody wants to suck your dick while you're unconscious??

K-Noooo, that's how rumors get started.

I- He WANTS you to start that rumor.

MJ-Why would I want people to think somebody sucked my dick while I was unconscious?!

I- ... You see how loud he said that?

"That's my friggin motto.. stack chips or die! If you don't stack chips-- DiE!"

"Kae, you could never be wack in my book. Now if you came in a Makaveli jean suit... maybe."

"That's your calling in life. Cuz I just called it."

Hey, Monie!

Oh! This weekend, I could've used a good movie. I had food & a cornucopia of orangeade Snapples... a rare occurence. And suddenly, the lightbulb went on over my head-- "Buy a "Hey Monie" DVD!" I would've taken any of the seasons. I LOVED "Hey Monie." It was sooo cute & hilarious. I remember LOL-ing uncontrollably during the self- defense episode. It was a cross between "Sex in The City," "Living Single," and "Daria." GENiUS! So I moseyed my way on down to amazon.com only to find that there WAS no "Hey Monie" DVD :-(... I did vote for it to be distributed on DVD before I resorted to a YouTube search.



P.S.- while they're at it, they need to bring back "My Brother & Me"*